Healthy karena menggunakan madu sebagai pengganti gula, yoghurt sebagai pengganti susu, dan mengganti 1/3 bagian tepung terigu putih dengan terigu gandum. So, yeah, basically a ‘just because’  kind of case =P

Kalau mau lebih healthy lagi, ganti telur utuh (putih + kuning/merah) hanya dengan menggunakan putih telur, namun jumlah bagian telur harus dikalikan 2 (1 telur utuh = 2 putih telur), dan juga ganti separuh (atau seluruh, tergantung selera, yang pasti rasa cake bakalan berubah) bagian mentega dengan minyak canola atau zaitun tanpa rasa (NO minyak goreng biasa!)

BTW cake ini jadinya moist dan lembut, jadi jangan takut kalau hasilnya kelihatan bantet atau kurang matang, karena ya memang begitu hasil yang seharusnya =)

Bahan:

• 2 buah Pisang matang, puree dengan mixer atau garpu
• 150 ml Yoghurt plain / naturel
• 2 sdt Baking powder
• 200 gr Self rising Flour
• 100 gr Terigu whole wheat / gandum
• 150 ml Madu
• 2 butir Telur ayam ukuran sedang
• 8 gr Vanili bubuk atau 1 sdt ekstrak Vanilla
• 50 gr Mentega, lelehkan kemudian simpan pada suhu ruangan
• Bubuk Cinnamon atau Speculaas
• Mentega / margarin + terigu putih untuk mengoles loyang atau gunakan baking spray dan kertas roti
• Icing sugar

If someone asked me that just hours earlier, I will answer confidently, “No! Why should I?” But then something happened to me this morning (or ‘today morning’, like one of my colleagues use to say) that made me realize that I’m not that akin to changes. What happened? I lost both of my residence permit card and ATM card. At first, I thought I made have misplaced them somewhere in my new laptop bag, since it’s new and I haven’t been that familiar with her yet (it’s a ‘She’ since she was so beautifully designed and the size is smaller compared to my previous monstrous laptop trolley/mini-suitcase — both courtesy of the office, anyway) Then came lunch time. I started to look furiously through my coat, my purse, and then my bag. One round search returned without results, I do another search round, and another, and another. And my friend, who has been waiting for me to go to the canteen together, started to say: “use my card now, you can pay later” and I was like: “No!”

It’s not because I did not want her kindness or her money, but it’s just that I did not want to give up just yet. After 30 minutes, they already left me in the room searching like crazy, it just hit me: I have lost my ATM card and the residence (MVV) card. Dang!!

I called my husband, and he helped me with contacting the immigration office (IND) and also the police. Meanwhile, I contacted my bank to block my ATM card (bankpas or pinpas, they call it here). Before that, I contacted the bus operator and reported missing items. They said that they will inform me within 2 weeks, otherwise it will be considered as “Sorry, we did not find anything.”

My friends started to comfort me saying that ‘it’s okay, nobody knows your pin code’, ‘it’s only money’, ‘you can apply for new ones’… I know that! But, there’s this thing inside of me that just stayed there after I found out I have lost the cards. I feel disappointed and also awestruck with myself, because I have seen those 2 cards in my hands just before I left home. I also remembered the moment I stuffed them into my coat pocket, I even remember which pocket it was and what else inside the pocket.

Really, it’s not about the money… Or applying for new MVV card (which cost money, btw, total +360 eur*, but I have no problem with that — not that I have lots of money, just Okay-ish)… It’s about that I have seen them this morning, hold them, put them someplace I feel safe and confident enough that nobody would steal it from my coat pocket (because it’s front pocket) and other things within the pocket are there! My keys, and my gloves are still there! Somehow only the cards missing… I just… I don’t know…

I hope that someone will find it and return it to me somehow, before my new bankpas arrive, just for the sake of my normality. So I can get on with my old usual static normal life.

Right now, I just want to relax so I don’t get burn by my own mistake…

*) Apply new MVV 250 eur + 110 return visa = 360 eur

The good thing about this recipe that it’s easy to make and I can replace the blueberry with other berries/fruits, next time I will try with super sweet apples plus super sour raspberries with some shredded baked almonds scattered within!

Bahan 1:

• 250 gram Gula
• 375 gram Terigu
• 250 gram Mentega
• 1 butir Telur
• 1 sdt Baking Powder
• 1 sdt Air Lemon

• 125 gram Gula
• 4 sdm Cornstarch (Pati Jagung)
• 2 sdm Air Lemon
• Blueberry

The word “Lunch” is integrated in either english sentences or dutch sentences. So, you will hear: “are we going for lunch?” or “ga je mee lunchen?” and remember: with the “U.”

Actually….

It’s not just about financial matter.

Here is my personal experience as the first born child:

Semasa saya kecil, sering sekali saya merasa cemburu luar biasa terhadap adik-adik saya dan bahkan berujung kepada rasa tidak suka luar biasa kepada Mommy. My Daddy passed away since I was 9 years old and there’s not much memory I had of him. The thing is, I was a jealous and “galak” sister for all my 3 siblings: 2 sisters and 1 brother. Saya tidak ingat kenapa bisa begitu, yang pasti saya ingat kalau saya sering sekali menangis meronta-ronta kalau melihat adik saya bermain dengan Mommy-Daddy, apalagi kalau mereka dibelikan barang baru yang lebih bagus dari punya saya.

Mommy selalu berpikir kalau memang saya ini terlahir dengan personality yang buruk sebagai anak. Selalu saja tantrum tidak jelas, ngambek, dan maunya berantem sama adik-adik. The jealousy grows, and entering teenage-hood, I started to hate my mother. Always clashing, always fighting. Saya bahkan sempat berkhayal jikalau saya ini anak angkat dan bukan berasal dari orang tua yang saya kenal selama ini. For real! Tidak jauh berbeda dengan adik-adik saya, terutama adik perempuan yang lahir setelah saya. Kalau berantem kami sudah tidak lagi main fisik, sudah sampai lempar barang, seru lah pokoknya.

Lalu, saya mulai beranjak dewasa, mulai sibuk dengan kawan-kawan, sekolah, kuliah, pacaran, dan akhirnya kerja. Saya pun mulai bisa memutar sudut pandang dan mulai menganalisa keadaan. Kenapa saya bisa begini dan begitu. Saya mulai berakrab ria dengan artikel majalah tentang kepribadian dan psikologi. And there’s the bright light coming! Note: me and my Mommy are both in a very good relationship and communication now! Happy Ending!

All of my personality: the neediness, excitement to please, always wanting the best, always do the best, semuanya berakar dari rasa cemburu saya dan jiwa kompetitif saya terhadap adik-adik saya. Why? Because we all were born only 1 year apart! And there are FOUR of us! Beberapa waktu lalu, Mommy pun juga sempat mengutarakan hal ini.

Bulan Mei-Juli kemarin, Mommy berkunjung ke Amsterdam dan stay disini untuk menemani saya melahirkan dan mengurus bayi. Beliau melihat kalau anak saya selalu tersenyum dan semua traits-nya perfect dan baik. Lalu Mommy teringat akan saya dulu, katanya ketika saya bayi saya juga seperti itu: damai, ramah, dan playful. Just a plain happy baby. Then why the tantrum? Mommy pun menjawab: “kamu seperti itu pasti gara-gara punya adik kebanyakan, dalam waktu berdekatan” NAH! Jreng jreng jreng…!

Babies are all born happy and content. It’s up to the parents now. Setelah punya anak, saya jadi berlangganan berbagai newsletter soal parenting. Semuanya menekankan perlakuan intensif kepada anak dibawah umur 2 tahun. Semuanya. Perkembangan otak, motorik, dan akhirnya, emosional anak, ada pada stage tersebut. Ketika saya berumur 1,5 tahun, adik saya lahir dan semua perhatian tertuju kepadanya. Well, it was not for nothing, adik saya ini memang punya sedikit masalah dengan selera makan dan sangat pilih-pilih (bahkan sampai sekarang!)

Ooh, post script, I share this on emphasis of MY own experience, no means of dissing my siblings. We are all in the very close relationship now. Really close, and friendly. For real.

Back to the story, karena masalah makan dan rewel, adik saya jadi kurus sekali berbanding terbalik dengan saya yang sehat dan subur. Akhirnya, perhatian orang tua pun banyak tercurah ke adik saya tersebut. Saya pun mulai diacuhkan, I think, I don’t remember. Dan belum lagi adik saya genap 1 tahun (baru 10 bulan), lahir adik laki-laki saya. Makin-makin lah saya dikacangin. Hehehe. Tidak lama kemudian, adik perempuan bungsu saya pun lahir. Lengkap sudah.

So, that’s the story.

Keputusan untuk menambah anak itu ada pada orang tua, tapi juga harus diingat perasaan sang anak. Jangan terlalu egois mempertimbangkan kondisi pribadi eg. selagi masih muda, banyak-banyakin anak, dsb. Hopefully I could manage that as well. Amin.

Me: “This coffee is not sweet enough, I need sugar”

Answer: “Just look at my face (giving me big smile)”

Oh God! That joke is an international joke! Here I thought only in Indonesia I could ever hear that

This is what happened:

As usual, I picked my daughter up from her daycare (or creche, we say here) around 5 PM and there was a bunch of young children ages 2-4 years old. They are all in this development stage where all they want to do is play around and importantly, speaking. I think 2-4 year old is the time where linguistic skill develop rapidly, all of a sudden the babies just want to talk, talk, and talk.

In another different but related story, I have been following a Dutch language course (paid full by the office, naturally) for 40 hours so far. I now can catch some words, and if I’m lucky, one complete sentence in Dutch or Nederlands. My level is still basic, the level where I can catch a few words here and there and then quickly processed that information in brain so I can come up with a conclusion of what has been said. I can say that I could understand Nederlands but I still stumble on how to answer or to speak in it.

Back to the creche, I was picking up my daughter when suddenly I was swarmed by toddlers. They all curious and lighten up whenever they see an adult approaching. However, I didn’t realize that they’re all at the amazing development stage of life, so I get in, say “Dag!” or “Halo!” to the carers (I don’t know the correct word in english, but here they are called ‘Leidster’). The Leidsters all said “Dag!” back at me, and then with the same confidence… I greet the toddlers.

“Dag, baby!” I said (although they don’t like to be called “baby” since, you know, they’re 2 now! No longer a baby! –in their mind) and I continued, “hoe gaat het met jouw?” (how are you doing?) and they suddenly answering, “goed!” and just when I’m about to walk further down the hall, to the baby room, I heard a little girl voice asked me: “ga je de baby ophalen?” jreng jreng jreeeeng…!! Oh God! That was my lesson two weeks ago! How to make future tense using the word ‘Gaat’ + infinitief, bla bla bla…

Well, basically what the girl asking was, “are you going to pick up your baby?”, luckily my brain works amazingly fast that time, so I can come up with the answer: “Ja!” and I walked (read: almost running) into the baby room and pick up my Nina. After I put her on the stroller, I forgot her dirty clothes and pacifier, so I, again, walk/run quickly into the room. But then when I got out, the toddlers are there again! One of them sees me without the baby, “waar is de baby?”, I was like “de baby is in de wagentje!” and just there one of the Leidsters saw what I’m doing and she gave me a big smile, could be a smile that she’s happy I’m now using Nederlands or a smile that tells me to just play along with the toddlers or in another word: don’t run away now, haha!

Just like that and the toddlers are swarming me and my baby, whose sit nicely in the stroller. “Hoe heet jij?” (who are you?), “ben jij Mama?” (are you a Mama?) and suddenly I was in this playful mood, so I just asked them back! “Ik heet Kania, ik ben Mama, hier is mijn baby”, and of course the “hoe heet jij?”, they answered their names and now, it’s their turn to ask. All of a sudden they all asking me questions, in perfectly ordered sentence, but in NEDERLANDS! Oh no, no, no! My mood drop from playful to ultimate survival. How to get away from toddlers surrounding me without making them feeling disappointed or ignored. So, I pretended to get busy with the stroller. While some of them already tired of waiting, some still waiting for me. Luckily only 2 girls waiting. Just when I’m about to walk near the entrance door, they suddenly talking to me, “mijn mama kom zo… ” I don’t get what she was telling, but I’m trying to be polite so I asked her “waar is je mama en papa?” and then she answered “Papa is in vliegtuig, mama is thuis….” while she was talking, the other one started talking to me as well. And try as I might, I only get very little of what they’re talking about. Partly because I’m still novice, they also novice, I’m scared, but mostly that I could not reply to them properly! I was so sad…

So sad to learn that my speaking dutch is in the level of 2 year olds. Even a 3 year old would already surpassed me, like way better than me. The thing is, I know what they’re talking about and I know little girls like to talk a lot. But I just cannot supply them with a proper response. And to think that I will raise my daughter here and soon enough she’ll be picking up words and learn to talk, I just need to be ‘there’ for her. I know that there’s this mother in the creche who talks in english with her daughter while her daughter is answering/talking to her in dutch. And they seem fine and get along so well…

But still, my dutch level… I need so many work to do! I will try to talk in dutch with work colleagues and all the people around me. And adding more hours for the course, hopefully the HR manager would approve of that.

Boss: (speaking in English) “My wife’s is an Indisch…”

American Colleague: “your wife is from India?”

B : “no, my wife is half Indonesia, we call it ‘Indisch’ here”

AC : “ooh I see, it’s Indisch, I thought you said India”

Me: “in Indonesia we call it ‘Indo‘, I think it was supposed to mean someone half Dutch but now it means someone half-non Indonesia”

B: “ah, we call it ‘Indo’ as well, but Indisch is more popularly used”

Scene 2: my office room, shared with 4 other colleagues. One of them is Dutch and he asked me:

Colleague: “Kania, can I call you ‘Indo’?”

Me: “hm… (thinking to myself what a compliment that would be, images of Ari Wibowo, Nadine Chandrawinata, flashes right before my eye) you can, but I’m not Indo..”

C: “but you’re Indonesian…”

Me: “is that how you call us here? Because in Indonesia, Indo means someone with one of the parents is non-Indonesian”

C: “really? Cause I use to call my Indonesian (descent) with ‘Indo’… (thinking) maybe because they’re half Indonesian…”

Me: “well, you can call me that, I still think that’s a kinda flattering”

C: “hah, why do you like to be called that?”

Me: “well, in Indonesia, Indos are very popular because they’re mostly good looking… many Indonesian movie stars are Indo, it’s the easiest way to get famous”

All the rest in the room: “ooh… (thinking)”

One notable point of view:  Indonesian think that ‘Indo’ is half foreign, while here ‘Indo’ is half Indonesian. While it’s one of the same but still the idea (a little bit) surprised me.

That’s the question from one of my colleagues, this afternoon. We’re all at this presentation followed by a casual drinks and chats. The starters are about how many languages are there in one country. We all in this little circle, took turns giving out answers including the Dutch, and then it came to me.

Q: “Kania, how many languages are there in Indonesia?”

Me: “Ooh we have plenty, but there’s one national language and we all can speak that”

Q: “How many languages you can speak of?”

Me: “In total? Err… 2, Indonesian and English, and none of traditional Indonesian languages, hahaha”

Q: “Wait, you have one more, you can speak Dutch”

Me: “Well, if you count my sleazy Dutch then I can also count Korean and French”

Q: “Where did you learn those?”

Me: “French was in high school, and Korean in college”

Q: “They taught French in high school in Indonesia? What else do they taught?”

Me: “Well, in my school, there’s an optional foreign language classes, besides English (because it’s mandatory), we have French, German, Japanese, and Arabic… and I chose French and learning it for 2 years”

Q: “Wait, you say they teach French and German, but no Dutch?”

Me: “Yes”

[mind you, this is a Dutch man speaking to me, they colonized Indonesian for 3,5 centuries (4 according to them) and they 'hate' the Germans]

Q: “But why? Netherlands were colonizing Indonesian for so many years, and why’s German? Is there any German colony near Indonesia? What (historical) connection you (Indonesia) have with the Germany?”

Me: “Well, you see, after the independence declaration, our first president wanted to get rid off everything Dutch, that includes eliminating Dutch language in the education, and he even made people with Dutch-sounded names changed into Indonesia-sounded names”

Q: “Yes, Soekarno, I know that… but still, why not? Don’t you want to read old books written in Dutch?”

Me: “…”

This actually what I’ve been discussing lately. Why did we do that? We see Malaysia and India taught and even speak some English in their daily life. But then again, it’s all been said and done, so it’s a choice to learn it or not, but one thing for sure, the Dutch know that we, Indonesia, let’s just say, don’t like them.

[Un]fortunately, aplikasi ini tidak bisa sembarangan di-uninstall. Butuh account administrator terlebih dulu untuk get rid of this piece of apps, and that goes along with us preparing a bunch of reasoning statement to the IT Dept, who comply to your boss, naturally.

So, here is what the workpace work in real life:

Besides warning, it also provides mini exercises

The thing is, this apps tends to get more and more aggressive towards the end of the day, especially if none of its warnings, breaks, and exercises gets complied. It even offer to shut the pc down automatically.

Message windownya pun keluar tidak mikir-mikir, mau sedang meeting dengan atasan, presentasi, bahkan lagi asik bekerja (hehe ) bisa tiba-tiba muncul dan butuh lebih dari sekedar satu klik to make it disappear. The “bla bla bla” parts are longer and not easily defeatable.

Bagusnya, dengan aplikasi ini, saya jadi punya alasan dan reminder untuk lunch dan waktu untuk pulang ke rumah! which nowadays, I can’t hardly wait for. So, in a way, love-hate is what I feel about it.

A lesson learned is that the Netherlands has this regulation that (sort of) prohibit a worker to work endlessly and tirelessly for 6 hours straight. You can, however, ignore the rule but then if you get RSI then it’s your own risk, of course, coverable by insurance but still, you have to leave work and that’s a lose-lose situation for anyone involved.