Just as for today, I am starting to work again. The first day was so hectic and full of people because apparently one of the departments just recruited 50 new associates. Yes FIFTY. And all of them were having a sort of orientation day today at the Amsterdam office, which is, like, the head office (let’s just say so, because most of the Partners are here and it’s the biggest PwC office in all Netherlands, and Amsterdam is the nation’s capital city). In my dept there’s also 2 new joiners from PwC India and PwC Mexico, both are women (clapping hands vigourously, since I’m no longer the only female! Yay!) and both came from outside The Netherlands, which means: English speakers! Hurraay!
Since we all non-dutch, we’re all enrolled in Dutch language course, held privately despite having the same tutor, named Elise. Apparently, the woman from India, who came to work while I’m still on maternity leave, used to come into the office wearing big long skirts, which she said that very Indian. So, Elise encouraged her to wear short skirt, because according to her, woman shouldn’t be afraid of wearing everything. Do not feel ashamed of yourself. “Asians,” she said, “you always afraid of something.” When I said, “look at me, I always wear pants!” and she said, “why?” And then she pointed a girl who wear this tight short short skirts, well, it’s a mini skirt basically, to the office! And I said, “well isn’t that too short for work?” she said “of course not!”
Then I made my final blow, “but I have ugly legs and I’m not slim like that (the mini skirt girl)” and then Elise said, “why you Asians are always like that? Ooh I’m fat and ugly I cannot wear that, or I don’t look pretty in that, etc ” That made me think… and the one from Mexico also said that, “yeah, why are you guys like that? As for me, I’m pretty, very pretty.” Good thinking.
But it’s not just that actually, I rarely wear short skirts. Very rare it’s like petrol oil, that you have to mine in the middle of the ocean to get it. I’m not confident with my legs, that’s my reason and that’s a fact. But, you know, since I live in Amsterdam, which no matter what will always be cooler (the temperature) than Jakarta, I think I can throw in a skirt here and there, wearing it with stockings underneath. When I was still working in Jakarta, once I wore a skirt with pitch black stockings underneath, and the blabbering discouraging mouth of Indonesian people are saying this to me: “ooh I don’t know it’s cold here”, “why are you wearing stockings?”, “your legs are black”,”are you watching too many korean dramas?”, “oh look you’re so fashionable today (sinister way).”
So, back to me, I now come to think, why should I bother the minds of the people who never do something outside the box? They work for the same company despite all the hatred and jealousy ignited by the work environment. Hell, they even never went outside Java Island for once, so why should I care?
Now, let’s concentrate to heal my self confidence regarding my body.
image: H&M Nederland