Am I afraid of changes? Try new things? Or live my life like I have never done before?
If someone asked me that just hours earlier, I will answer confidently, “No! Why should I?” But then something happened to me this morning (or ‘today morning’, like one of my colleagues use to say) that made me realize that I’m not that akin to changes. What happened? I lost both of my residence permit card and ATM card. At first, I thought I made have misplaced them somewhere in my new laptop bag, since it’s new and I haven’t been that familiar with her yet (it’s a ‘She’ since she was so beautifully designed and the size is smaller compared to my previous monstrous laptop trolley/mini-suitcase — both courtesy of the office, anyway) Then came lunch time. I started to look furiously through my coat, my purse, and then my bag. One round search returned without results, I do another search round, and another, and another. And my friend, who has been waiting for me to go to the canteen together, started to say: “use my card now, you can pay later” and I was like: “No!”
It’s not because I did not want her kindness or her money, but it’s just that I did not want to give up just yet. After 30 minutes, they already left me in the room searching like crazy, it just hit me: I have lost my ATM card and the residence (MVV) card. Dang!!
I called my husband, and he helped me with contacting the immigration office (IND) and also the police. Meanwhile, I contacted my bank to block my ATM card (bankpas or pinpas, they call it here). Before that, I contacted the bus operator and reported missing items. They said that they will inform me within 2 weeks, otherwise it will be considered as “Sorry, we did not find anything.”
My friends started to comfort me saying that ‘it’s okay, nobody knows your pin code’, ‘it’s only money’, ‘you can apply for new ones’… I know that! But, there’s this thing inside of me that just stayed there after I found out I have lost the cards. I feel disappointed and also awestruck with myself, because I have seen those 2 cards in my hands just before I left home. I also remembered the moment I stuffed them into my coat pocket, I even remember which pocket it was and what else inside the pocket.
Really, it’s not about the money… Or applying for new MVV card (which cost money, btw, total +360 eur*, but I have no problem with that — not that I have lots of money, just Okay-ish)… It’s about that I have seen them this morning, hold them, put them someplace I feel safe and confident enough that nobody would steal it from my coat pocket (because it’s front pocket) and other things within the pocket are there! My keys, and my gloves are still there! Somehow only the cards missing… I just… I don’t know…
I hope that someone will find it and return it to me somehow, before my new bankpas arrive, just for the sake of my normality. So I can get on with my old usual static normal life.
Right now, I just want to relax so I don’t get burn by my own mistake…
*) Apply new MVV 250 eur + 110 return visa = 360 eur